Sexism At Home

I love talking to people who dont understand the meaning of racism, sexism, ethicism, or even praline-pecan-ism, the most delicious -ism to ever exist. People just dont get that racism and sexism are give-and-take, not take-and-take. They are about EQUALITY. What does equality mean, boys and girls? Thats right! It means everyone is equal! It doesnt mean you are inclined to more of something than someone of a different race, or that you are inclined to different treatment based on whether your reproduction organs are inside or out. I could go on for days about examples of racial and gender equality being unbalanced, but Ill spare you all with one of my favorites.

Women expect men to leave the toilet seat down so when they go to use it, they dont become a warthog fresh from wallowing in the waters of the [insert river of your choice starting with 'W'] river. I always found it hilarious that men are expected to check the seat before squirting the daisies, but women cant do the same. One girl I talked to once said "Well, if its late at night and I have to go to the bathroom, I dont want to have to check to see if the seat is down." Oh, really? What a coincidence! Me neither! That would probably explain why the toilet seat has distinct yellow marks all over the place and the smell of, well, a toilet. In all honesty, youre probably doing your health a favor by dunking your doughnut when you have to go potty instead of coming in contact with the public restroom replica seat. Obviously we have to come to some sort of common ground here to end this blatant sexism in the female favor. You know, in a lot of cultures, men are the dominant species and women are expected to do all sorts of stuff for them. Maybe women should start raising the toilet seat for men? Nah, western swingers are way too chivalrous for that. That leaves us with three choices: [One] Get over yourselves, your laziness, and your perceived gender entitlements and just start checking the toilet seat before you sit down like men do to create gender equality, [Two] Unconditionally grant sexual favors, dinner, and all the other male demands to create the 'give' in the give-and-take equation, or [Three] men just start sitting down to pee, and you live with the stains on the adjacent walls from our lack of controllable flagstaffs. I wouldnt mind option two, actually, but Im sure we can all agree on the benefits to both genders with option one.