Wow. My last rant got a lot of attention. Eight comments. That's a new personal best. Anyways, time to blow the dust off and get back to incoherent ramblings.
Let me tell you something about me. I never wear a watch, mostly because I always have my cell phone or laptop with me. Let me tell you something about the rest of my family. The members that wear watches like to make those that don't wish they did, or at least annoy them. If you ask them what time it is, they can't simply say "oh, it's five fifty-four." No, instead they reply in the same way a math teacher would. "A quarter before seven", "a half of eight", and "ten till nine" are some examples. These might not be brain-busting paper-filling trigonometric equations denoting the rationality of time and space, but they take more time to compute than simple "five fifty-four." Maybe I'm just slow, but it takes me at least five times longer to do the math than it does to just go "oh, ok, it's fucking five fifty-four," and it makes me wonder how long did it take them to come up with the formula? Do they think it up every time their watch changes?
You know what's worse? Another thing they do is tell you the math part WITHOUT THE DAMN HOUR! "A quarter till." Oh great, it's a quarter till...A quarter till what, exactly? A quarter till you tell me what the hour would be if it were two hours before the last hour of eight half-days ago? Not only does this method of telling me the time not involve any simple flat-out numbers. It's also incredibly and entirely useless unless you were aware of the time a couple minutes before.
To be honest, I think it's kind of elitist of them. They have the luxury of being able to look at their wrist and instantly know the time, while those asking are unworthy of such instant information. They want the time, but they cant handle the time! (I watched A Few Good Men today) They are undeserving! Therefore, I reach the conclusion that those who wear watches are either elitists or sadists. Maybe I'm looking too far into it...maybe they've just always wanted to be math teachers, but were never able to get their teaching degrees.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Parents
So, its kinda late, but its the thought that counts, right? Plus I'm sure there are a lot of presents lost in the mail that won't surface until next month. At any rate, Happy Ho-Ho's, Merry New Number, and all that good stuff.
Todays rant is about over-controlling parents. I was blessed with really cool parents that let me be me and trust me to make good decisions. To me, that's what all parents should be like. Unfortunately, a lot of my friends have these super-Nazi parents that insist on controlling every aspect of their kids lives, from their hobbies, to after-school activities, even who they can and cant date. If you know me personally, which I'm sure if you're reading this blog you do, you can probably guess who I'm aiming at. So, here's how the story goes. Feel free to fill me in on what you think via the comments. Maybe I just cant see the way this guy does because I'm not a parent.
The following story is true, and as such is pretty damn long. To skip to the situation in question without reading the introduction, click here. To protect the innocence and make the story more interesting, nicknames will be used in place of real names. Thank me later.
To start off, I was a senior in high school from 2007-2008. Vector was a freshman. With that said, back in December of 2007 I met this girl (Vector), who was a friend of my best friend's (Squirrels) girlfriend (Ali). Lost yet? Good. At first we were really hitting it off. I enjoyed talking to her, and she enjoyed listening to me. After a while, I got suspicious of her though. One day, I told her I believed she was in love with me. She didn't know herself. I told her to think about it. The next day, she admitted she was in love with me. The problem was I was already in a relationship with this girl we called Peanut.
Skip forward to January 2008. Things were slowly falling apart with Peanut. In my infinite wisdom, I told her I thought it was best to just cut it. She agreed. Now that I had a gaping hole in my heart, I was a wreck. Then Vector came around. I quickly picked her up, and we were lovebirds for a long time.
One day during what I'm guessing to be February, Vector used her not-so-infinite wisdom to skip some classes during the school day to come see me during the time I help the computer programming teacher do weird and usually useless stuff. When Ali heard about this, she decided to do the same knowing that Squirrels, her boyfriend, would be there too. I didn't catch word of the plan until I saw them walk through the door, at which time I told them to go back to class. They refused, or lied, or something, and ended up staying. The next day, Ali got caught by the school administrators. We don't really know how, but we believe Ali told them the entire plan, and ratted out Vector. Vector then got hauled in too, and her parents were called. When they were, they found out about how I was the reason she skipped. Her dad didn't like that, and told her he didn't want her to see me anymore. From that point on, he has hated me for no wrong-doing of my own.
April came. I graduated. Now things were getting interesting. Since I was no longer a student at the school, how was I supposed to see Vector? Well, I talked to her on MSN/the phone, and made a bad choice. I told her that I thought it would be best if we saw other people since it seemed it couldn't work out between us. After some thinking and talking, though, I changed my mind. On June 3, 2008, I told her if she wanted, I would wait 3 years for her to graduate, and then we could resume where we left off. Sappy, right? Yea, but as impossible as you might think, I'm extremely good at keeping promises. So the waiting game began.
So, we were technically back together. We were talking for hours with eachother every night, and MSNing eachother for the better part of the day every day. Then, some time in July (probably after the 4th), a new development came. She told me about how she stayed at the school after the school day ended on Wednesdays to help out in Production. I told her I would be at the school to see her then. Weeks went by, and we were enjoying seeing eachother every Wednesday. Her parents didn't know, of course, although I wanted to try to call her dad and ask for his formal permission to date her. When I asked Vector about it, though, she said she didn't believe he was ready for that, saying he was still angry at me for what happened in February. I decided not to call him, believing she knew him better than I did.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008. Vector calls me and tells me Wednesday is her sisters birthday (if I remember correctly). Because of that, she wont stay after school Wednesday. I'm sad. She tells me it's ok, though, because Saturday, a school play is starting, and she will be working it. I tell her Ill be there. Saturday comes and goes with no problems. We had a great time. She tells me the play will be running next Saturday too. Once again, we agree to meet. That next Saturday, December 13, 2008, everything changes...
I told you that story so that you would understand this story. December 13, 2008. Vector and I are at my house watching Wall-E (she never saw it before) and generally enjoying eachothers company. Then her phone rings. Her dad is calling. This isn't exactly unusual. I tell her to pick it up, even promising to be quiet while they talk. She refuses, saying "if its important, he will leave a voicemail". No voicemail left. A couple minutes later, he calls again. I feel something is wrong. I tell her to pick it up. Once again, no. Once again, no voicemail. Then her dad and mom start taking turns spamming her phone, each time leaving no voicemail. Now I KNOW something is wrong. Her friend calls. She picks up. "Where are you?! Your parents are at the school looking for you!" her friend says. We get in my car and get moving back to the school. On the way, her parents are still calling. She is freaking out, but I'm not. I figure we can lie our ways out of it. She asks me what to tell them. Being the slick thinker I am, I tell her to tell them she was talking with some teachers in another part of campus. Just as we agree on the plan, her phone rings again. Its the school main office. Now I start spazzing out. I start thinking, is what I did illegal? Will there be police involved? Is there any chance I will get my ass kicked by angry school administrators? I don't let Vector see my uncertainty. We're quiet for a while. Then I say "I think its time to tell the truth..."
We pull up in the front parking lot. She tells me "I don't know what hes going to do." I ask "do you think he might be violent?" "Maybe...probably." I decide to keep my distance and expect confrontation. We start walking. I'm telling her "everything will be fine," just because I cant stand to see a girl scared so shitless. A man jumps out a van and runs over to us. "Where have you been?" he asks. She replies "this is Blake. We were at his house watching a movie." He says "why were you at his house?" She answers "because hes my boyfriend!" The argument lasts a couple minutes, then finally ends. I walk away with all of my limbs intact, but with a really sick feeling that this isn't the end of it.
The next day, he uses her phone to call me. He tells me we are not allowed to ever talk to eachother again. While this infuriates me because I hate when parents try to make decisions for their kids, I know my place in this fight and just answer "yes, sir."
Now, it has been nearly a month since then, and I haven't talked to her the whole time. I miss her. Ill do anything, ANYTHING, just to talk to her again. And I'm just crazy enough to do anything. Ive contemplated calling him, apologizing, explaining the situation, and trying to make things right, but after telling my dad and friends about it, they seem to think its Vectors job to fix this. What do you guys think? Are the parents over-reacting? Am I, and more importantly Vector, getting what we deserve? What should we do to fix this?
Todays rant is about over-controlling parents. I was blessed with really cool parents that let me be me and trust me to make good decisions. To me, that's what all parents should be like. Unfortunately, a lot of my friends have these super-Nazi parents that insist on controlling every aspect of their kids lives, from their hobbies, to after-school activities, even who they can and cant date. If you know me personally, which I'm sure if you're reading this blog you do, you can probably guess who I'm aiming at. So, here's how the story goes. Feel free to fill me in on what you think via the comments. Maybe I just cant see the way this guy does because I'm not a parent.
The following story is true, and as such is pretty damn long. To skip to the situation in question without reading the introduction, click here. To protect the innocence and make the story more interesting, nicknames will be used in place of real names. Thank me later.
To start off, I was a senior in high school from 2007-2008. Vector was a freshman. With that said, back in December of 2007 I met this girl (Vector), who was a friend of my best friend's (Squirrels) girlfriend (Ali). Lost yet? Good. At first we were really hitting it off. I enjoyed talking to her, and she enjoyed listening to me. After a while, I got suspicious of her though. One day, I told her I believed she was in love with me. She didn't know herself. I told her to think about it. The next day, she admitted she was in love with me. The problem was I was already in a relationship with this girl we called Peanut.
Skip forward to January 2008. Things were slowly falling apart with Peanut. In my infinite wisdom, I told her I thought it was best to just cut it. She agreed. Now that I had a gaping hole in my heart, I was a wreck. Then Vector came around. I quickly picked her up, and we were lovebirds for a long time.
One day during what I'm guessing to be February, Vector used her not-so-infinite wisdom to skip some classes during the school day to come see me during the time I help the computer programming teacher do weird and usually useless stuff. When Ali heard about this, she decided to do the same knowing that Squirrels, her boyfriend, would be there too. I didn't catch word of the plan until I saw them walk through the door, at which time I told them to go back to class. They refused, or lied, or something, and ended up staying. The next day, Ali got caught by the school administrators. We don't really know how, but we believe Ali told them the entire plan, and ratted out Vector. Vector then got hauled in too, and her parents were called. When they were, they found out about how I was the reason she skipped. Her dad didn't like that, and told her he didn't want her to see me anymore. From that point on, he has hated me for no wrong-doing of my own.
April came. I graduated. Now things were getting interesting. Since I was no longer a student at the school, how was I supposed to see Vector? Well, I talked to her on MSN/the phone, and made a bad choice. I told her that I thought it would be best if we saw other people since it seemed it couldn't work out between us. After some thinking and talking, though, I changed my mind. On June 3, 2008, I told her if she wanted, I would wait 3 years for her to graduate, and then we could resume where we left off. Sappy, right? Yea, but as impossible as you might think, I'm extremely good at keeping promises. So the waiting game began.
So, we were technically back together. We were talking for hours with eachother every night, and MSNing eachother for the better part of the day every day. Then, some time in July (probably after the 4th), a new development came. She told me about how she stayed at the school after the school day ended on Wednesdays to help out in Production. I told her I would be at the school to see her then. Weeks went by, and we were enjoying seeing eachother every Wednesday. Her parents didn't know, of course, although I wanted to try to call her dad and ask for his formal permission to date her. When I asked Vector about it, though, she said she didn't believe he was ready for that, saying he was still angry at me for what happened in February. I decided not to call him, believing she knew him better than I did.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008. Vector calls me and tells me Wednesday is her sisters birthday (if I remember correctly). Because of that, she wont stay after school Wednesday. I'm sad. She tells me it's ok, though, because Saturday, a school play is starting, and she will be working it. I tell her Ill be there. Saturday comes and goes with no problems. We had a great time. She tells me the play will be running next Saturday too. Once again, we agree to meet. That next Saturday, December 13, 2008, everything changes...
I told you that story so that you would understand this story. December 13, 2008. Vector and I are at my house watching Wall-E (she never saw it before) and generally enjoying eachothers company. Then her phone rings. Her dad is calling. This isn't exactly unusual. I tell her to pick it up, even promising to be quiet while they talk. She refuses, saying "if its important, he will leave a voicemail". No voicemail left. A couple minutes later, he calls again. I feel something is wrong. I tell her to pick it up. Once again, no. Once again, no voicemail. Then her dad and mom start taking turns spamming her phone, each time leaving no voicemail. Now I KNOW something is wrong. Her friend calls. She picks up. "Where are you?! Your parents are at the school looking for you!" her friend says. We get in my car and get moving back to the school. On the way, her parents are still calling. She is freaking out, but I'm not. I figure we can lie our ways out of it. She asks me what to tell them. Being the slick thinker I am, I tell her to tell them she was talking with some teachers in another part of campus. Just as we agree on the plan, her phone rings again. Its the school main office. Now I start spazzing out. I start thinking, is what I did illegal? Will there be police involved? Is there any chance I will get my ass kicked by angry school administrators? I don't let Vector see my uncertainty. We're quiet for a while. Then I say "I think its time to tell the truth..."
We pull up in the front parking lot. She tells me "I don't know what hes going to do." I ask "do you think he might be violent?" "Maybe...probably." I decide to keep my distance and expect confrontation. We start walking. I'm telling her "everything will be fine," just because I cant stand to see a girl scared so shitless. A man jumps out a van and runs over to us. "Where have you been?" he asks. She replies "this is Blake. We were at his house watching a movie." He says "why were you at his house?" She answers "because hes my boyfriend!" The argument lasts a couple minutes, then finally ends. I walk away with all of my limbs intact, but with a really sick feeling that this isn't the end of it.
The next day, he uses her phone to call me. He tells me we are not allowed to ever talk to eachother again. While this infuriates me because I hate when parents try to make decisions for their kids, I know my place in this fight and just answer "yes, sir."
Now, it has been nearly a month since then, and I haven't talked to her the whole time. I miss her. Ill do anything, ANYTHING, just to talk to her again. And I'm just crazy enough to do anything. Ive contemplated calling him, apologizing, explaining the situation, and trying to make things right, but after telling my dad and friends about it, they seem to think its Vectors job to fix this. What do you guys think? Are the parents over-reacting? Am I, and more importantly Vector, getting what we deserve? What should we do to fix this?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Wikipedia
You all knew it was coming, so I might as well get it over with. This rant will sorta flip-flop between supporting Wikipedia and throwing mud at them. Either way, it should be quite entertaining for the readers.
First off, I support what Wikipedia is doing. I think the concept is amazing. It's a knowledgebase of everything, created by everyone, editable (and thereby improvable) by anyone. It reminds me of Linux and the open-source community. Someone comes along and creates a great piece of software/information, then the users get to make improvements to it without any bias from the author as to its efficiency or otherwise. This means that the data goes through countless, and I mean COUNTLESS, filters, each one improving what the original and the previous patch failed to fix. In the words of the almighty computer god Linus Torvalds, "given enough eyeballs, all bugs are shallow", meaning peer review does in fact serve its purpose. As such, I wish all the teachers and others who call Wikipedia articles "incredible" (in the bad sense of the word) would learn what peer review really means. You know what I think? Well, of course you do, but...they need to admit the only reason they don't want us using Wikipedia for research is because it makes finding information on exactly what you want easy and fast! That's right, boys and girls! Using Wikipedia is a great alternative to using Google.
Seriously, am I the only one who is tired of trying to write a research paper on Dill pickles, going to Google, typing in "Dill pickles", sifting through 70 pages of crap, finally finding a link that looks good, clicking it, and being taken to a Scandinavian porn site?! I hate the entire idea of researching topics. It's flawed, but Ill get to that in a different rant. The point is, if I'm doing research on the Internet, I don't want porn! Put it in a pop-up window, send it to my e-mail, call my phone during dinner time about it, whatever. Just keep it out of my way when there are thousands of dollars of tuition riding on my ability to find a site that tells me what I want to know.
OK, so as I promised, now it's time to tell you what Wikipedia is doing wrong. Simply put, they are Nazis. Each article is assigned a handful of Nazis who check the editing history of the article, and undo any changes you make to it. They are the only ones allowed to be right. If asked why they reverted your edit that took 15 minutes to type up and added needed information to it, they will tell you "citations needed" or some other stupid crap. I always find that excuse funny, because about 90% of the article lacks citations. Now, I hate the thought of citing (see above), but I believe in consistency. If you are going to require every word to have a citation, how about just make the article read "The (Bible, 1 A.D,)."
So, yes, Wikipedia has some retards with no lives that we need to destroy, but I think with some human ingenuity and exploding Star Wars collectibles, we can do it. As for the teachers, they will probably never acknowledge Wikipedia as credible and therefore must have their wages lowered so low that they won't even check for correct citation. Problem solved. See, America? You should've made ME president.
First off, I support what Wikipedia is doing. I think the concept is amazing. It's a knowledgebase of everything, created by everyone, editable (and thereby improvable) by anyone. It reminds me of Linux and the open-source community. Someone comes along and creates a great piece of software/information, then the users get to make improvements to it without any bias from the author as to its efficiency or otherwise. This means that the data goes through countless, and I mean COUNTLESS, filters, each one improving what the original and the previous patch failed to fix. In the words of the almighty computer god Linus Torvalds, "given enough eyeballs, all bugs are shallow", meaning peer review does in fact serve its purpose. As such, I wish all the teachers and others who call Wikipedia articles "incredible" (in the bad sense of the word) would learn what peer review really means. You know what I think? Well, of course you do, but...they need to admit the only reason they don't want us using Wikipedia for research is because it makes finding information on exactly what you want easy and fast! That's right, boys and girls! Using Wikipedia is a great alternative to using Google.
Seriously, am I the only one who is tired of trying to write a research paper on Dill pickles, going to Google, typing in "Dill pickles", sifting through 70 pages of crap, finally finding a link that looks good, clicking it, and being taken to a Scandinavian porn site?! I hate the entire idea of researching topics. It's flawed, but Ill get to that in a different rant. The point is, if I'm doing research on the Internet, I don't want porn! Put it in a pop-up window, send it to my e-mail, call my phone during dinner time about it, whatever. Just keep it out of my way when there are thousands of dollars of tuition riding on my ability to find a site that tells me what I want to know.
OK, so as I promised, now it's time to tell you what Wikipedia is doing wrong. Simply put, they are Nazis. Each article is assigned a handful of Nazis who check the editing history of the article, and undo any changes you make to it. They are the only ones allowed to be right. If asked why they reverted your edit that took 15 minutes to type up and added needed information to it, they will tell you "citations needed" or some other stupid crap. I always find that excuse funny, because about 90% of the article lacks citations. Now, I hate the thought of citing (see above), but I believe in consistency. If you are going to require every word to have a citation, how about just make the article read "The (Bible, 1 A.D,)."
So, yes, Wikipedia has some retards with no lives that we need to destroy, but I think with some human ingenuity and exploding Star Wars collectibles, we can do it. As for the teachers, they will probably never acknowledge Wikipedia as credible and therefore must have their wages lowered so low that they won't even check for correct citation. Problem solved. See, America? You should've made ME president.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Sexism At Home
I love talking to people who dont understand the meaning of racism, sexism, ethicism, or even praline-pecan-ism, the most delicious -ism to ever exist. People just dont get that racism and sexism are give-and-take, not take-and-take. They are about EQUALITY. What does equality mean, boys and girls? Thats right! It means everyone is equal! It doesnt mean you are inclined to more of something than someone of a different race, or that you are inclined to different treatment based on whether your reproduction organs are inside or out. I could go on for days about examples of racial and gender equality being unbalanced, but Ill spare you all with one of my favorites.
Women expect men to leave the toilet seat down so when they go to use it, they dont become a warthog fresh from wallowing in the waters of the [insert river of your choice starting with 'W'] river. I always found it hilarious that men are expected to check the seat before squirting the daisies, but women cant do the same. One girl I talked to once said "Well, if its late at night and I have to go to the bathroom, I dont want to have to check to see if the seat is down." Oh, really? What a coincidence! Me neither! That would probably explain why the toilet seat has distinct yellow marks all over the place and the smell of, well, a toilet. In all honesty, youre probably doing your health a favor by dunking your doughnut when you have to go potty instead of coming in contact with the public restroom replica seat. Obviously we have to come to some sort of common ground here to end this blatant sexism in the female favor. You know, in a lot of cultures, men are the dominant species and women are expected to do all sorts of stuff for them. Maybe women should start raising the toilet seat for men? Nah, western swingers are way too chivalrous for that. That leaves us with three choices: [One] Get over yourselves, your laziness, and your perceived gender entitlements and just start checking the toilet seat before you sit down like men do to create gender equality, [Two] Unconditionally grant sexual favors, dinner, and all the other male demands to create the 'give' in the give-and-take equation, or [Three] men just start sitting down to pee, and you live with the stains on the adjacent walls from our lack of controllable flagstaffs. I wouldnt mind option two, actually, but Im sure we can all agree on the benefits to both genders with option one.
Women expect men to leave the toilet seat down so when they go to use it, they dont become a warthog fresh from wallowing in the waters of the [insert river of your choice starting with 'W'] river. I always found it hilarious that men are expected to check the seat before squirting the daisies, but women cant do the same. One girl I talked to once said "Well, if its late at night and I have to go to the bathroom, I dont want to have to check to see if the seat is down." Oh, really? What a coincidence! Me neither! That would probably explain why the toilet seat has distinct yellow marks all over the place and the smell of, well, a toilet. In all honesty, youre probably doing your health a favor by dunking your doughnut when you have to go potty instead of coming in contact with the public restroom replica seat. Obviously we have to come to some sort of common ground here to end this blatant sexism in the female favor. You know, in a lot of cultures, men are the dominant species and women are expected to do all sorts of stuff for them. Maybe women should start raising the toilet seat for men? Nah, western swingers are way too chivalrous for that. That leaves us with three choices: [One] Get over yourselves, your laziness, and your perceived gender entitlements and just start checking the toilet seat before you sit down like men do to create gender equality, [Two] Unconditionally grant sexual favors, dinner, and all the other male demands to create the 'give' in the give-and-take equation, or [Three] men just start sitting down to pee, and you live with the stains on the adjacent walls from our lack of controllable flagstaffs. I wouldnt mind option two, actually, but Im sure we can all agree on the benefits to both genders with option one.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Microwaves
Microwaves are like the bane of the home kitchen appliances. For one, the name alone is lame. A Microwave uses microwaves to heat up food. Wow, so the device is named the exact same as the technology it uses? How lame-brained were the inventors of it? I think a much more suitable name for it would have been "Magical cancer box that turns the outside of my hot pockets into molten dough, but doesnt heat up all of the inside." It never fails that when I put some food in the microwave that was in the refrigerator from the night before, the plate gets so hot I have to hold it with an oven mitt, and the surface of the food gets so hot I cant eat it directly after heating it up, but the food that isnt in contact with the air feels like I just took it out of the freezer. And why is it that I heat the food up so hot? I dont know. I guess its because I was under the impression that if I did, it would affect ALL the food I put in and not just the surface. Then, if youre in a hurry or really hungry, you dont have time to play the stir-it-up-and-put-it-back-in game. So youre likely to burn the crap out of our lip with the first bite, then get a brainfreeze with the second. You would think that since we are in a sophisticated technological society, we would all be able to go out to Walmart and buy microwaves that actually reheat food all the way through.
It doesnt stop with the actual heating, either. Youve also got to wrestle with these buttons. Youve got the digit buttons that dont work when you press them once, so you press them harder and put the number on the display twice. Since there isnt a back button to erase just one of the digits, youve got to press the clear button and redo the whole time. Hopefully you dont do the same thing the second time, or you might be sitting in front of the microwave all day crying "I just wanted my pizza warmed! Why have you forsaken me, Microwave God?" Then youve got the thousands of other buttons that no one ever uses, probably because no one knows what they do. Youd pull out the manual to check them, but you threw that out a long time ago because you figured using a microwave is fairly straight-forward. As a result, youve got Mode, Sensor, Program, Omega 3, and other buttons just collecting dust. Its like a big, radioactive graphing calculator.
It doesnt stop with the actual heating, either. Youve also got to wrestle with these buttons. Youve got the digit buttons that dont work when you press them once, so you press them harder and put the number on the display twice. Since there isnt a back button to erase just one of the digits, youve got to press the clear button and redo the whole time. Hopefully you dont do the same thing the second time, or you might be sitting in front of the microwave all day crying "I just wanted my pizza warmed! Why have you forsaken me, Microwave God?" Then youve got the thousands of other buttons that no one ever uses, probably because no one knows what they do. Youd pull out the manual to check them, but you threw that out a long time ago because you figured using a microwave is fairly straight-forward. As a result, youve got Mode, Sensor, Program, Omega 3, and other buttons just collecting dust. Its like a big, radioactive graphing calculator.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
HopeLine Promotion
No, its not a rant or some other joke as usual. Im going to take a break from all of that to help promote two of the services that I think truly got "it" right.
Im subscribed to The PostSecret Project. PostSecret is like a catalog of human emotion. Every day, random people send in anonymous post cards with their most closely guarded secrets on one side of them, and every Sunday, a couple are selected to be posted on the PostSecret site. It is a truely great concept and I believe its one of the best credits to humanity. A couple of my friends and I have sent in some secrets of our own. Its a great feeling to know youre being listened to without judgement.
Recently, PostSecret asked those of us with the ability to promote HopeLine to do so if possible. Im doing my part. All of my websites now feature the above video on the front page. Its my way of saying thanks. Thank you HopeLine, thank you Post Secret, thank you for all that you do.
Im subscribed to The PostSecret Project. PostSecret is like a catalog of human emotion. Every day, random people send in anonymous post cards with their most closely guarded secrets on one side of them, and every Sunday, a couple are selected to be posted on the PostSecret site. It is a truely great concept and I believe its one of the best credits to humanity. A couple of my friends and I have sent in some secrets of our own. Its a great feeling to know youre being listened to without judgement.
Recently, PostSecret asked those of us with the ability to promote HopeLine to do so if possible. Im doing my part. All of my websites now feature the above video on the front page. Its my way of saying thanks. Thank you HopeLine, thank you Post Secret, thank you for all that you do.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Nintendo Killed The Wii
The newest thing to be added to Nintendos already awesome arsenal is the downloadable content called WiiWare. These are games that you can buy from the Shop Channel, much like Virtual Console games. In fact, they are exactly like them in every way, except that they are often created by third-party programmers and the reason for this rant; THEY ARE HUGE! Seriously, the size of some of these games is astonishing. Now, if youre like me, you think "Oh! Size on a game cosole is no problem!" Yea...What you forget is that we are talking about the Wii here! Nintendo, in their infinite knowledge, thought it would be a good idea to limit the internal memory to somewhere in the neighborhood of 500 megs.
First off, are you kidding me? 500 megs is really all you can spare us, Nintendo? Ive got a $15 flash drive that can hold 2 gigs! Its surely not much bigger than your measely 500-meg hardware, and Id be happy to add $15 to my purchase to get those 2 gigs.
Second, the reason Im complaining about this small size. While Nintendo so graciously granted us the ability to plug in Gamecube memory cards and SD cards to store more data, the Wii cant run games from them! So, if youve got more than 500 megs worth of WiiWare and VC games, you are forced to juggle them between the built-in memory and external methods. This is unacceptable. If I want to play Star Fox one second, then play Zelda another, then switch over to My Life As A King, the only thing I should have to do is click the game from the Wii menu. None of this wrangling-with-memory-usage crap! If I wanted to play that game, Id go back to my Gamecube and see how many save files I could cram on a memory card before having to use another one.
Nintendo, I can safely speak for all of us when I say you completely fouled up the gaming experience. You alone killed the otherwise awesome love machine we affectionately refer to as the Wii. Until you offer an update that allows the Wii to run games from SD cards, or a service to upgrade the on-board memory, I will be upset with you and your awesome games that I cannot download and play because Im too lazy to swap around a million files. Really, come on. What were you thinking? You have failed.
First off, are you kidding me? 500 megs is really all you can spare us, Nintendo? Ive got a $15 flash drive that can hold 2 gigs! Its surely not much bigger than your measely 500-meg hardware, and Id be happy to add $15 to my purchase to get those 2 gigs.
Second, the reason Im complaining about this small size. While Nintendo so graciously granted us the ability to plug in Gamecube memory cards and SD cards to store more data, the Wii cant run games from them! So, if youve got more than 500 megs worth of WiiWare and VC games, you are forced to juggle them between the built-in memory and external methods. This is unacceptable. If I want to play Star Fox one second, then play Zelda another, then switch over to My Life As A King, the only thing I should have to do is click the game from the Wii menu. None of this wrangling-with-memory-usage crap! If I wanted to play that game, Id go back to my Gamecube and see how many save files I could cram on a memory card before having to use another one.
Nintendo, I can safely speak for all of us when I say you completely fouled up the gaming experience. You alone killed the otherwise awesome love machine we affectionately refer to as the Wii. Until you offer an update that allows the Wii to run games from SD cards, or a service to upgrade the on-board memory, I will be upset with you and your awesome games that I cannot download and play because Im too lazy to swap around a million files. Really, come on. What were you thinking? You have failed.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Posts Pulled
I decided some of my old posts were a little too serious or biased, and took away from the comedic atmosphere of this blog. So, I commented them out.
Laughs all around, and the beers are on me! ^^
Laughs all around, and the beers are on me! ^^
The Ultimate Cell Phone
A while ago, I got into a debate with a friend over how cell phone makers can justify selling hand-held devices for as much as they do. This ultimately led to us breaking down all the features a cell phone can have, versus how many people actually want those features in a phone. Well, a household-name cell phone company recently polled people who wanted or already had a cellular communication device. The management sat down and tossed around some ideas, citing the results of the polls.
They decided to start with a palm-sized, fat device that could only allow the user to talk into it and play back the voice of someone else with one. However, this wouldnt sell too well since the market for cell phones apparently wanted phones for more than just talking and also had the mentality that thinner is more convenient as well as "sexier", and every self-respecting business owner knows sex sells. So, they made the brick-sized device about as thin as their index finger, citing that poll results showed people hate fragile phones and drop them often. This meant they couldnt make the devices paper-thin because they would break way too easily.
Next, they looked at reception. A big turn-off for the polled people was the thought of being in the middle of a call and having it cut out unexpectedly. So, they added an antennae that jutted out from the phone. This lowered the attractiveness of the phone, so they opted to put the antennae inside the phone, which meant they had to expand the phone since the antennae was so long as to allow excellent reception no matter where the user would be.
The makers realized that the phone was lacking software and other communication options. The phone users demanded that they have a way of sending text-based messages, as well as access to the internet, especially to check MySpace, Facebook, and YouTube. They added the software to do so, along with a teeny-tiny keyboard which fit over the numbers. But, another problem arose; the polls showed that another common complaint was that the users fingers would get cramped from using the small keyboard. So, they created a larger keyboard that attached to the phone. This was definately not attractive at all and was way too much work to have to carry around two different devices, so they put the phone screen on one panel, and the keyboard device on another, and hinged them. A flip phone!
Now, people were saying they wanted to be able to put music on their phones and plug headphones into them. They added the ports and software accordingly. The people were still not satisfied. They wanted the ability to take pictures and video like a camera as well. The software and camera was added.
The makers were almost satisfied with their new product, except for one last thing pointed out by the poll. People found it irritating that their cell phone screens were so small that they had to strain their eyes to read them. They decided that since the keyboard was already so big, they could fill the entire top panel with the screen. Another annoyance was that you had to use the keys to select what you wanted to do on your phone. People wanted a pointing device. The makers added it to the bottom panel along with the keyboard. Everyone was finally satisfied with the end product. The device sold out within a matter of days. Here is what the product looked like:
The moral of this story is that if you want a cell phone for more than just talking, YOU DONT WANT A PHONE! Buy a laptop! A decent one costs about as much as a cell phone anyways! What makes this story so funny is that it is, in a way, a true story. I asked a couple people what they liked and disliked about their phones and got answers that led me to believe these solutions were realistic.
They decided to start with a palm-sized, fat device that could only allow the user to talk into it and play back the voice of someone else with one. However, this wouldnt sell too well since the market for cell phones apparently wanted phones for more than just talking and also had the mentality that thinner is more convenient as well as "sexier", and every self-respecting business owner knows sex sells. So, they made the brick-sized device about as thin as their index finger, citing that poll results showed people hate fragile phones and drop them often. This meant they couldnt make the devices paper-thin because they would break way too easily.
Next, they looked at reception. A big turn-off for the polled people was the thought of being in the middle of a call and having it cut out unexpectedly. So, they added an antennae that jutted out from the phone. This lowered the attractiveness of the phone, so they opted to put the antennae inside the phone, which meant they had to expand the phone since the antennae was so long as to allow excellent reception no matter where the user would be.
The makers realized that the phone was lacking software and other communication options. The phone users demanded that they have a way of sending text-based messages, as well as access to the internet, especially to check MySpace, Facebook, and YouTube. They added the software to do so, along with a teeny-tiny keyboard which fit over the numbers. But, another problem arose; the polls showed that another common complaint was that the users fingers would get cramped from using the small keyboard. So, they created a larger keyboard that attached to the phone. This was definately not attractive at all and was way too much work to have to carry around two different devices, so they put the phone screen on one panel, and the keyboard device on another, and hinged them. A flip phone!
Now, people were saying they wanted to be able to put music on their phones and plug headphones into them. They added the ports and software accordingly. The people were still not satisfied. They wanted the ability to take pictures and video like a camera as well. The software and camera was added.
The makers were almost satisfied with their new product, except for one last thing pointed out by the poll. People found it irritating that their cell phone screens were so small that they had to strain their eyes to read them. They decided that since the keyboard was already so big, they could fill the entire top panel with the screen. Another annoyance was that you had to use the keys to select what you wanted to do on your phone. People wanted a pointing device. The makers added it to the bottom panel along with the keyboard. Everyone was finally satisfied with the end product. The device sold out within a matter of days. Here is what the product looked like:
The moral of this story is that if you want a cell phone for more than just talking, YOU DONT WANT A PHONE! Buy a laptop! A decent one costs about as much as a cell phone anyways! What makes this story so funny is that it is, in a way, a true story. I asked a couple people what they liked and disliked about their phones and got answers that led me to believe these solutions were realistic.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Truth
Well, this should be a nice little break from the seriousness of my last post.
"The truth is like sunlight...People used to think it was good for you." Every day, I find that quote to be more and more true. If you ask me a question and ask for a completely truthful answer, Im not going to sugar-coat it for you. Thats what the truth is. Its the blunt answer without any alterations. If you cant handle the truth, then why would you ask to hear it? Lately, people have been asking me for the truth about a lot of different things, and every time I give them the full-hearted true answer, they get upset at me for doing so. I tell it like it is, and I expect other people to do the same to me. I would much rather take the truth than a lie, even if the truth hurts, and I would NEVER get upset at someone for doing so.
People are so greedy. They want everything tailored to themselves. They want to hear the truth, but only if its convenient for them. They cant stand the idea of someone lying to them, yet they lie to everyone if it fits their agenda. They want to live in a world created for themselves, and they arent willing to create it themselves. They want to live on the fruits of someone elses labor, while completely refusing to be the laborer for someone else.
"The truth is like sunlight...People used to think it was good for you." Every day, I find that quote to be more and more true. If you ask me a question and ask for a completely truthful answer, Im not going to sugar-coat it for you. Thats what the truth is. Its the blunt answer without any alterations. If you cant handle the truth, then why would you ask to hear it? Lately, people have been asking me for the truth about a lot of different things, and every time I give them the full-hearted true answer, they get upset at me for doing so. I tell it like it is, and I expect other people to do the same to me. I would much rather take the truth than a lie, even if the truth hurts, and I would NEVER get upset at someone for doing so.
People are so greedy. They want everything tailored to themselves. They want to hear the truth, but only if its convenient for them. They cant stand the idea of someone lying to them, yet they lie to everyone if it fits their agenda. They want to live in a world created for themselves, and they arent willing to create it themselves. They want to live on the fruits of someone elses labor, while completely refusing to be the laborer for someone else.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Intelligence
Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about Society and what they classify as "intelligence". Intelligence to the rest of the world is NOT how smart you are, but how high the numbers on your report card are. Im here to set the definition straight. Intelligence is not measurable by a number or letter. It is not how much you can retain, but rather how much you can apply. Being the rogue individualist I am, I refuse to do all my work in school. In fact, I havent done a homework assignment in over 5 years! I see it as useless and a waste of my time to do every single assignment given to me. There is no reward. What do you get for doing your schoolwork? An additional number in the grade books that slightly affects that number on your report card? Wow, yes, thats definately something to be proud of. To keep up with schoolwork is to be stressed, constantly tired, and just flat-out not have that much fun with life.
Ive had teachers, friends, and family members all ask me why I dont do all of my schoolwork. The simple answer I tell them is I refuse to do more than what is required of me. If I can pass the class with a 70, why should I try to get anything higher than that? What incentive is there for getting a grade higher than what is absolutely necessary to pass? The reply I get is usually something about employers or colleges looking at grades. Well, Im not planning on going to college, so thats no problem. As for employers, if they want to gauge me by a make-believe standard set up by Society, then I dont want to work for them.
Ive had teachers, friends, and family members all ask me why I dont do all of my schoolwork. The simple answer I tell them is I refuse to do more than what is required of me. If I can pass the class with a 70, why should I try to get anything higher than that? What incentive is there for getting a grade higher than what is absolutely necessary to pass? The reply I get is usually something about employers or colleges looking at grades. Well, Im not planning on going to college, so thats no problem. As for employers, if they want to gauge me by a make-believe standard set up by Society, then I dont want to work for them.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Printers
Have you noticed every time you need to print something, your printer is either out of ink or it just decides to be retarded? How hard is it to get this little machine perfected so that I dont have to stress out every time someone mentions the word "print"? I mean, weve got computers that can crack the Human Genome, render realistic three-dimensional graphics, and communicate around the world ALL AT THE SAME TIME, yet we cant get this little machine whose sole purpose of existance is to take whats shown on the monitor and put it on a piece of paper to do just that? For that, I believe the inventor of the printer should be shot, and the people still manufacturing these craptastic machines without even trying to make them actually work should be exiled to an island inhabited by vending machines that take your money, but either always complain that they are out of snacks or just flat-out dont work. How ironic. Having said all of that, I believe printers should be recognized world-wide as the retarded cousin of computers that want to be awesome like computers, but are too stupid to do anything about it.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
My New Laptop
So, I got a brand-new Dell XPS M1530 laptop for christmas. Its speced out for gaming and software development. It wouldve costed like $300 extra to get Windows XP installed on it, so my parents just stuck with slapping Vista on it. Now, this is the first time Ive actually gotten to use Vista, but just like everyone else, I heard it sucked. And, for the most part, I was right. Vista is basically XP with better graphics and less software compatibility. Good job, Microsoft. Youve made another thing that sucks. But, meh, it grows on you. Vista DOES have some pretty cool advantages. But, thats beside the point.
I decided one day that I wanted to type up a document. So, I clicked the Start button, hovered over the ole All Programs link, and began the hunt for Microsoft Word. And, wouldnt you know it? Microsoft Word wasnt on the laptop. In fact, there werent any word processors installed on the machine. Are you kidding me? So, Im forced to type up a document in, what, Notepad or Wordpad? What is that crap about? Just because Microsoft is too cheap to package some type of GOOD word processor with its operating system, Im reduced to using some half-assed text editing program. Microsft Word isnt even that good! What does Microsoft Word have that other word processors dont have? That annoying little paperclip office assistant guy? Yea, Id really be getting my moneys worth if I bought Microsoft Office separately. Thanks, Microsoft, you really suck. Why dont I just stick with Linux, where everything is free and doesnt crash every two seconds? Every day, I find it harder to tell people I like Windows more than the soleless Macs. If I wasnt so lazy, Id probably convert all my computers to Ubuntu Linux. And while Im at it, Id get a pocket protector and work for Geek Squad at Best Buy. The saddest part of that is Im actually considering working for Geek Squad. I suppose geeks are the new jocks.
I decided one day that I wanted to type up a document. So, I clicked the Start button, hovered over the ole All Programs link, and began the hunt for Microsoft Word. And, wouldnt you know it? Microsoft Word wasnt on the laptop. In fact, there werent any word processors installed on the machine. Are you kidding me? So, Im forced to type up a document in, what, Notepad or Wordpad? What is that crap about? Just because Microsoft is too cheap to package some type of GOOD word processor with its operating system, Im reduced to using some half-assed text editing program. Microsft Word isnt even that good! What does Microsoft Word have that other word processors dont have? That annoying little paperclip office assistant guy? Yea, Id really be getting my moneys worth if I bought Microsoft Office separately. Thanks, Microsoft, you really suck. Why dont I just stick with Linux, where everything is free and doesnt crash every two seconds? Every day, I find it harder to tell people I like Windows more than the soleless Macs. If I wasnt so lazy, Id probably convert all my computers to Ubuntu Linux. And while Im at it, Id get a pocket protector and work for Geek Squad at Best Buy. The saddest part of that is Im actually considering working for Geek Squad. I suppose geeks are the new jocks.
Welcome
Well, today some people were on my case about making a REAL blog. As some of you may know, I already have a Devlog. This blog will be dedicated to my incoherent ramblings about the world and all that jazz. No posts are meant to offend anyone. But, if youre a sensitive, self-conscious person that takes everything as a personal attack, this blog probably isnt right for you. This is the one and probably only disclaimer youll get.
Also, this blog wasnt made with the intention to change anyones mind about anything, but rather to make them think "Gee, he might have a point!" I dont force my opinions on others. For the most part, this is pretty much for entertainment. With all of that said, enjoy! ^^
Also, this blog wasnt made with the intention to change anyones mind about anything, but rather to make them think "Gee, he might have a point!" I dont force my opinions on others. For the most part, this is pretty much for entertainment. With all of that said, enjoy! ^^
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